


Intro to Romantic Relations

by shadyplots



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F, M/M, So its like. a cute season 7 where troy comes back !!!!, and annie's training to become a criminology professor, i had the idea for this at work and i found it funny then but maybe that was because i was tired, lets see, so like............... frankie is there. but so is troy, valentines day fic!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:38:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadyplots/pseuds/shadyplots
Summary: Dean Pelton needs help organising the school's valentines day dance, and since the student activities committee is perpetually engaged, who else to ask for help but the school's most diverse (hispanics notwithstanding) study group?





	Intro to Romantic Relations

"Hello, everybo-dean!" Dean Pelton trilled as he strolled into the room, arms decked with baskets of pink and red decorations and glitter. He wasn't wearing a costume, unless today's outfit was some particularly awful metaphor everyone was yet to get. "I have a special task for you guys, if you're willing to take it." He winked at the study group, who looked on back with blank expressions. 

"I don't think we have any choice." Jeff commented. "I'll do whatever job's easiest, by the way." He didn't look up from his phone, eyes scanning back and forth as he completed a rather difficult level of candy crush. Then, he returned his blackberry to his jacket.

"Oh, Jeffery." The Dean said, smiling fondly at Jeff, who returned it with a glare. "Of course you have a choice! Although participation is highly encouraged."

"Whatever. Just tell me what I have to do."

"Oh, okay!" The dean retrieved a crumpled list from his shirt pocket, scrawled on a green piece of paper bordered with tiny dalmatian emblems. "Firstly, I need three volunteers to hand out love hearts at this week's valentine's dance! Your uniform will be provided, of course." Nobody wanted to imagine whatever 'uniform' the greendale board of governors would decide on, but it would almost definitely be horrific. 

Annie excitedly raised her hand, and dutifully Frankie followed suit. Jeff then slowly raised his. Even if it was completely boring, this job wouldn't be hard to ditch. There'd be plenty of students willing to help him out, especially to get Mr Winger on their good side. Dean Pelton smiled, mistaking Jeff's laziness for genuine good intentions. 

"You don't have to, Jeff." Britta said, raising her hand all of a sudden. "I'll do it."

"Oh no you won't, Miss Perry." Dean Pelton replied, silencing her. "I have something planned for you already."

"Wait, what?"

"Tah-dah!" The Dean pulled out something beige from behind his back, a saggy fabric sack that resembled a large pair of tights. It had something white and glittery sewn onto it, and Britta couldn't tell what the hell it was meant to be. "This is _your_ uniform."

"Oh, yeah, my uniform." She turned it over in her hands, the slippery material causing it to slide onto the floor. "What am I supposed to be?"

"You're the cupid. Obviously." The Dean then handed her a tiny plastic bow, already loaded with a glittery arrow that moulted sparkles into Britta's hands. "Your job is to deliver notes and romantic gifts to students. Greendale is running its first rose service - I thought I could trust you to make sure it goes smoothly." His expression was uncharacteristically stern. "I know you're the worst, but you _can_ manage that, right? We wanted the human being to do it, but they were _engaged_."

"Hey!" Britta said, hurt. "If I'm the worst, why did you choose me to perform this special job?"

"You're the only person that can fit into the suit, Britta." She didn't move, still staring at the brownish-pink spandex fabric at her feet. "Go, get changed! Garrett made an order and the romance of a century may depend on how fast you run!" 

* * *

 

Jeff teetered on the edge of the desk, stabbing violently at the projector with a ruler. Frankie had moved all the furniture around for some dumb regulation thing, and it was impossible for him to chuck things at the projector button to turn it on now. Instead he actually had to move in order to put a movie on - it seemed like a violation of his teaching code, which was to do as little as possible. 

Then, there was a knock on the door, the shock of the sudden noise almost causing Jeff to tilt off the edge of the table. 

"Delivery for... uh, Garrett Lambert?"

"Garrett?" Jeff was confused, but went to accept the package anyway. Britta stood awkwardly in the doorway. She'd made sure to avoid Jeff whilst making her way to the dean's office to collect her first parcel, and the delivery sent her straight to his classroom. She didn't know what she'd done to recieve this much bad karma. Not that she believed in anything like that. 

Jeff managed to take the tiny pink bag without making a single comment, and whilst Britta was shocked she didn't prompt him. Instead, she legged it out the door. Garrett, meanwhile, had stood up to accept his gift, practically hyperventilating in excitement as he read the anonymous note attached. 

As Garrett began to scream his affection across the classroom at his girlfriend, Jeff turned to make a snarky comment. 

"Loving the outfit, Britta." Had already left his mouth before he realised she was gone. Damn. Well, nevermind, he'd get round to it later. According to the announcement Troy and Abed had made earlier, she'd be trawling the campus all day, handing out roses and gift bags to lucky students. He'd make sure she knew his thoughts on her outfit, even if doing so involved getting hold of the delivery schedule.

* * *

 

Tuesday was Annie's busiest day of the week - she had several classes, and training to become a professor of criminology was harder than she thought. She had no idea how Jeff qualified to be a teacher, and how he put all the work in. 

She began to unload the books from her locker when a girl approached her, and put a hand on her shoulder. Her grip was vicelike, so Annie couldn't even spring back in shock. Instead, she let her binder fall to the floor, several sheets drifting down the corridor. Drat. 

"What is it?" She asked, annoyed, looking into the eyes of the mysterious assailant. Wait, was that- "Annie Kim?" She gasped out the other girl's name, blushing. "I didn't even know you still went here!" Annie was surprised by this - she'd always noticed Annie Kim around, especially in their third year. In fact, she'd sort of had a crush on her. She didn't even realise it faded, the topic quickly slipping from her mind as she got preoccupied by other things. 

The mention of her study program was clearly a sensitive topic for the other girl, as her eyes darkened slightly. Then she regained her smile again. There was something softer in her expression than Annie had noticed before, the hunger to win still present but paired with something else, something different.

"This is a bit awkward." She began, adjusting her already perfect hair with a sweep of her hand. "But anyway. I didn't want this ruined by the god-awful cherub thing."

"That's my friend!"

"I know." Annie Kim produced a rose from behind her back, and her face grew bright red. "Anyway, just take it."

"Are you... giving me a valentine's day gift?" Annie asked, slowly, holding the rose out in front of her and inspecting it for ulterior motives. 

"Are you stupid? Of course I am!" Annie Kim laughed. "If you can't work that out, you shouldn't be valedictorian."

"I'm not! Leonard is!"

"Good!" Annie Kim said, already turning on her kitten heels and striding away.

"Okay!" Annie said. She was still holding the rose. It was pretty up close, but confusing. Annie Kim _hated_ her. They had barely seen eachother in three years. She'd never do something like this! 

* * *

"Frankie?" Britta said, sticking her head around the corner into the Dean's office. "Frankie, are you in here?"

"Yes, I'm here!" The other woman cried, running into the room holding a bundle of flowers. "Are you running out? I think we had enough gift bags, but you know the Dean, he can't budget at all-" She dropped the clipboard on one of the tables, noticing that Britta was not, in fact, out of gift bags. 

"It's fine, Frankie. I wanted to give you something, actually!" Britta's voice had gone high pitched, like she was nervous. 

"Oh, you do? Okay, what is it?"

Frankie stood, hands by her sides, by the desk, as Britta rummaged in her bedazzled messenger bag. "Britta, do you need me to get more roses for you, I-"

"Shh." Britta waved her hand in Frankie's face, still focused on finding what she was looking for. She then produced a crumpled pink goody bag, not dis-similar to the ones in Frankie's arms. Britta shoved it into Frankie's spare hand with a smile on her face, her cheeks red with excitement. 

"So?" She said, eyes wide. "Go on!" 

"So..." Frankie's repeated, her words trailing off. "Oh, god. I made a mistake with it, didn't I? I forgot the chocolate, I'll go back and replace that. It's fine."

"No, no!" Britta shifted to block Frankie's exit. "It's for you!"

"Why?" Frankie furrowed her eyebrows. "Why are you giving it back to me? I don't understand, but I'm willing to let you explain." 

"It's a gift, Frankie! For valentine's day!" Britta sighed. "I know you understand that, because you've been organising it. You've got a gift from an admirer."

"You're the admirer, right?"

"Yes! Right! Please, just take it."

"I've... I've got it." Frankie held up the tiny pink bag just to make it clear, and wondered how Britta had managed to destroy it so much in less than ten minutes.

"Good. Okay. Well, Vicki's probably waiting for her order. I should be going. I'm going now." Britta slung her messenger bag back over her shoulder, and picked the plastic bow up from where she'd left it on her last visit. Frankie didn't like the gift. It's what she'd expected, but some part of her had hope. Remind her never to listen to that part of herself again.

"Okay...?" Frankie called after her. That had happened quickly. And weirdly. She'd never gotten a valentine's gift from someone before, and usually she'd put this down to some kind of joke. The thing was, Britta wouldn't do this to her. Plus, all of Britta's humor involved animals in 'people clothes'. It didn't fit her MO, so this was probably real. 

She'd thank Britta when she next saw her. 

It was a nice thought, even if she was the one who made the bags. 

* * *

 

"Troy and Abed in the Morning!" 

TV lights flicked on, and the dulcet sounds of daybreak filled the study room. Troy and Abed span round on their stools, holding identical mugs, and grinned at eachother before looking into the camera. 

"I'm Troy!" 

"And I'm Abed!"

"This is our show!"

"The Valentine's day special to be exact!"

"We've got so much special content lined up for you!"

"First, we'd like to welcome our guest - Ex-Spanish and Math Teacher Benjamin Chang!"

The lights flashed brighter as Chang walked into the frame. He was carrying something in his arms, and as the camera focused the item was revealed to be one of the pink goody bags that Britta had been distributing. Wait, did that mean Chang had a secret admirer? 

"So, Ben." Troy grinned, his eyes beginning to hurt beneath all of the LEDs. "We hear you've been quite popular today." 

"Oh, that's right!" Chang exclaimed before Troy finished talking, and gestured with his free hand to the pink bag he was holding. "I've been delivered a gift from someone who's in love with me."

The small audience made a vaguely interested noise, one person stifling a laugh. Chang shot a glare in their direction, before resuming his speech.

"As I said, someone is in love with me. I got-" He paused to empty the bag on the floor. "A teddy bear, a box of chocolates, and a love letter. Isn't this great?" He turned to grin at the cameraman, who shrugged emotionlessly. 

"That is the standard contents of a Greendale gift bag." Abed noted. "But onto more pressing matters, who do we think the mystery love interest is?"

"So, Chang. Did you-" Troy began to ask a question, but didn't get very far before Chang began to emit a high pitched screech. Troy and Abed both turned to him to see why, and the camera zoomed in to capture his expression. He continued to make this noise for a few more seconds, before realising the spotlight was on him.

"Fine, I admit it!" He began to yell instead. "I sent the bag to myself! Nobody loves me, and I'll be lonely forever!" 

Before Troy and Abed could comment, he had ran from their 'studio', clutching his gifts in his arms. 

"Wow! What a revelation!" Troy exclaimed, his voice devoid of feeling like he wasn't even capable of surprise at this point. 

"Indeed." Abed agreed, doing the same before an idea came back to him. "We should probably move onto tonight's other feature - Troy and I will be exchanging valentine's gifts!"

"They'll be better than the ones Chang sent to himself, we promise!"

"It's hard for them not to be."

"You're right."

Abed brought out his gift first, a big pink and black box with stripes. Troy opened it eagerly, and the smile on his face when he saw the contents was the kind of smile that people always compare to sunshine and rainbows. He wouldn't stop grinning, and his eyes lit up with the purest joy Abed had ever seen on his boyfriend. This would concern most people - I mean, why wasn't he this happy after their first kiss - but Abed wasn't most people. Abed was just satisfied that he'd done something right by Troy. 

"What is it?" A member of the audience asked, craning their neck. Troy giggled, and realised they couldn't see, so he turned the box to face the camera. 

Inside was a giant cookie, not unlike the one featured at the transfer dance back in their first year. That cookie had had an impact on Troy - sure, it had made him kinda sick, but the boy would never stop talking about how good it tasted. With Annie's help Abed had created a replica. Instead, though, the text on the top had a different message - in blue cursive icing, the script said 'You're cool'. 

It was just about the cutest thing Troy had ever seen. 

"Damn, Abed!" Troy said finally. "How am I even gonna top this?"

"You will. I know you will."

"Aw, thanks Abed!" He placed the box in his boyfriend's arms, and looked at him with an expectant grin. As Abed opened it, his expression was measured at first, but then he gasped. Troy was pretty sure he'd never heard Abed gasp before, actually. Weird. 

"Dark Knight extended edition?" He asked Troy. He didn't even need to check, because he knew instantly. He just wanted to confirm, know for sure he was holding the DVD he'd longed for for so long. The DVD with exclusive commentary by Christian Bale, with his name signed in silver sharpie. 

"Just like the one that burglar broke that one time." Troy replied, warmly. "I wanted to replace it."

"Thanks. Cool." Abed paused. "Cool cool cool." 

They both turned to face the cameras again instead of eachother, and did their signature handshake before the cameraman tapped his watch at them.

"I guess that's it for today's episode of Troy and Abed in the morning!" Troy said, his cheeks warm. "We hope you'll join us tomorrow." 

They sang the theme tune together one more time, and the broadcast shut off. 

* * *

 

 The day had passed fairly eventfully, but now it was time for the final event of them all - the Valentine's dance. Established couples arrived at the doors in matching outfits, single people moped in the corner with glasses of fruit punch, and Jeff Winger stood by the door distributing candy hearts. Well, he did until from the corner of his eye he spied a certain beige figure creeping around beneath the strobe lights, her tiny felt wings tangling in the pink-and-red paper chains. 

"Britta." Jeff called, walking quickly so she couldn't disappear. "I just wanted to say I love the outfit." 

During most points of the last day, Britta would've blushed and replied with a sarcastic comment. However, there was a new determination in her that Jeff could sense, something that worried him. 

"I was actually looking for you, Jeff."

Fear struck Jeff, he couldn't help it. He felt ice cold, terrified. That's a perfectly normal thing for her to say, Jeff told himself. Go on, just listen.  

He smirked slightly, and Britta held out a tiny, sparkly goody bag towards him. 

"Is this from you?"

Britta cackled, and then stopped when she noticed Jeff's smile fade. 

"No, I've had my share of romance today. But don't worry, you know the person who sent it."

"Annie!" Jeff, announced suddenly. "If it's not you then, it has to be her."

This made Britta laugh even more.

"Haven't you seen her and Annie Kim?" The blank look on Jeff's face indicated he hadn't. "Oh, they're totally lesbians. Sorry."

"Who is this from, then?" Jeff murmured, counting something down on his hands. "All the women I know are accounted for."

"Just open it, Winger."

Jeff opened the bag, and the colour drained from his face.

"What is it, Jeff?" Britta asked, although she knew full well what it was. 

Jeff sighed, and pulled out the green piece of paper to read it. The message was bordered with dalmatian emblems - suddenly, this whole business became clear. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry this was terrible!!!!!! please leave kudos and or hate comments below :)


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